The Woman He Loved Before

The Woman He Loved Before, written by Dorothy Koomson, was one of the many books I bought while visiting the Land of E this summer.  It was a book which sounded like a promise of a good read but failed to come to fruition.

The Woman He Loved Before is about the relationship between Libby and Jack, complicated pasts, and twisted family ties.  Libby, Jack's second wife, is haunted by the unanswered questions behind the death of Jack's first wife, Eve.  Koomson takes readers on a tale of love, sensuality, and abuse as she explores the life of Eve and it's impact on Jack's new relationship.  Libby comes to question her relationship with her husband and the possibility of his hand in the murder of Eve.  The book's main question:  How and why did Eve die?

Yes Means Yes!

Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman's collection of essays in Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape is an engaging, fast-paced exploration of sexual assault in contemporary North America.  The work contains twenty-seven essays written by various authors which seek to understand issues central to sexual assault such as consent, virginity, the media, stereotypes, race, and sexual orientation.  Yes Means Yes! echoes the personal tales of many different lifestyles.

My Temporary Life

Martin Crosbie's My Temporary Life is a complex and dark tale of the life of Malcolm, a Canadian-Scottish man in the late twentieth century.  Crosbie delves into the childhood, adolscence, and adulthood of Malcolm as he experiences the hardships of his parents divorce, trans-Atlantic life (he spends his summers in Vancouver with his mother and remaining time in Scotland with his father), puberty, and his slowly developing romance with Heather which sends him on a suspenseful chase throughout Canada.

Chaucer Fuss - The Clerk's Tale

"The Clerk's Tale" is a story that I secretly love. Why secretly? Because this work seems simultaneously degrading and progressive for women.

The Clerk's Tale focuses on the relationship within a nuclear family. The husband is shown exercising ultimate control over his wife's actions... including persuading her to agree to the murder of their two children.

Katy Carter Wants a Hero

Ruth Saberton's Katy Carter Wants a Hero chronicles one woman's tale of self-discovery. Katy Carter, Saberton's protagonist, is a disgruntled London high school teacher who believes that the kind of men from her well-read storybook romances truly do exist. But... do they really?

Beautiful Artifacts, Heartbreaking Relics

I received my first e-mail from an author requesting a book review in late March. As the writer of a little-known blog I was shocked to discover that any author would offer up their book for my criticism.

I was unsure about performing the review. What if I didn't like the book? The author suddenly became a person and perhaps, because of that, I wondered if I would be able to write a honest review. I have brutally pointed out the flaws in literature in the past. I hoped to be able to do the same when the author became more than words in a book. When I was greeted with a format (short stories) and style (magic realist) that I do not frequently pursue, I agreed to the task.

Vanishing Acts

People say that you should venture outside of your comfort zone. Try something new, try something that has never really attracted you. You never know what you are missing until you've given it a little taste.

I've avoided reading Jodi Picoult for many, many years. I have glanced at the summaries of her novels - mostly, it seems, containing plots of court cases (ie: murders, child sexual abuse) and other high-drama situations. To be blunt, I'm not into law stories. However, I found Picoult's Vanishing Acts gleaming on a bookstore's shelf and I thought it was high time I gave her work a shot.

Vanishing Acts confronts issues of memory, loss, addiction, and the reinvention of identity. Picoult provides readers with the tale of a father who kidnaps his daughter from his divorced wife. She provides reasons to justify the Father's behaviour, but ultimately leaves it to the reader to determine the gallantry of his actions.

Shout-Out

The other day K brought to my attention a new ad gracing the local city buses. The ad was very simple - a yellow background and white text. The ad was for survivors of sexual abuse.

But, here's the kicker that has led me to my keyboard --- the ad was for the BC Society For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse.

When K told me of the ad I immediately searched for the website. I wanted to know more. It's not that I haven't heard of male sexual abuse - university courses on gender, family, and sexuality have amply exposed me to the issue. What was new, was that I was seeing and hearing about this issue out in the open... in our contemporary society... outside of the classroom.

So many people are silent (or snicker and raise eyebrows) when male sexual abuse is voiced as a concern. A raped man? I can't even recall a media story on this issue... or a novel, for that matter. A man with a black eye? "Oh, he surely got that in bar fight," we all assume. It is refreshing that these presumptions are beginning to be challenged in our society... and in large part due to third wave feminism.

Some of you may know that I am a self-declared feminist. Feminism, and particularly Jessica Valenti's work, brought me out of a bout of self-destructive behaviour a few years ago. Feminism addresses tough gender issues such as sexual reproduction rights, eating disorders, and male sexual abuse.

So, here's my Shout-Out:
Thank you, third wave feminism, for bringing awareness to male sexual abuse. And, thank you for empowering people to be themselves without excuse.

Safe Haven

I bought Nicholas Sparks' newest novel, Safe Haven, when it was first released in September 2010. My university studies meant that I wasn't able to crack open the book until recently. Let's just say that I spent a good few months staring wistfully at the novel's spine in my bookcase. But, after finally completing the read, I'm not even sure where to start with my review.

Two days ago I had no intention to write a review for this book. Actually, a hour ago I thought this was a quick little read before I ventured into more hard-hitting literary work. Seems I was mistaken.

Irresistible

Love is a complicated affair.

Susan Mallery's Irresistible tells the tale of two young Americans who pledge to avoid relationships and love at all costs.

Walker and Elissa, partners in an "it's-not-a-relationship" relationship, are brought together through a series of unfortunate events. Car troubles, bad dreams, overexcited children, unpleasant grandmothers, and restaurant jobs lead to increasing contact between the couple. Elissa's past as a struggling single mother and Walker's ex-Marine lifestyle create commitment issues for the pair, respectively. As this is a romance novel you know what eventually 'should' happen. However, I'll save you from any spoilers.

Matters of the Heart

One of my friends recently recommended reading Danielle Steel's Matters of the Heart. She claimed that it was the best Steel book she had ever read. According to her it was a page turner, suspenseful, and a novel she couldn't stop reading even on her honeymoon this past June. With that kind of acclaim I had to give the book a shot.

Taking my friend's word, I began to read the book on an early flight out of Vancouver. I did manage to finish the book yesterday though I read the majority during my flights.

I must admit that at first I was a bit skeptical of this novel. I am an avid reader of Steel but I find her work repetitive. How many times does she have to reword the same sentence, allude to certain plot twists, or repeatedly mention a character's wealth? To me a Steel book has always been a source of cheap entertainment. Her work can be engaging, fun, and romantic... but it is not a ground shattering, award-winning piece of fiction by any means.

Matters of the Heart did live up to my friends praises. Steel expertly creates a love story between an isolated, but intelligent and well-balanced, woman and a sociopathic man. She illustrates the traumas of being in a physically and psychologically abusive relationship. Her descriptions are vivid, intense, and original. And, most importantly, she creates a fast paced and non-repetitive tale. This book manages to escape the downfall of many Steel novels, that being repetitive descriptions and dialogue.

Interestingly, the sociopathic man in Steel's work is portrayed as an acclaimed writer. Steel links the man's unbalanced behaviour to his writing by stating "it was why he wrote the books he did, all those dark characters lived in his head, and were different sides of him, the ones that didn't show" (Steel, p 275).

This reminded me of our previous discussion on how a library relates to one's personality.
Just how personal is a work of fiction?

Having written a little bit of fiction myself, I do believe that writing style and theme are more intricately connected to someone's personality than the books they store on a shelf. Writing comes from within a person and is a direct expression of their thoughts, censored or uncensored.

But even the notion that what someone writes reflects their own character is troublesome. Does that mean Steel is prone to affairs or Stephen King has murderous tendencies? The psychology behind writing is an interesting topic that I would like to explore.

Overall, Steel's novel is enthralling. Though a significantly darker tale, Steel maintains her tradition of captivating the audience and producing a quick read despite its many pages. I would recommend Matters of the Heart to those who are already familiar with Steel's work... and those, who like me, had become tired of her repetitive writing style.

Love the Way You Lie

Are song lyrics literature?

I remember the first English class I attended in university... it was all about poetry. I've always had a thing for poetry. Somehow a poem can sum up so much in just a few eloquently placed words. It is the exact opposite of me - I'm one of those people who tend to write over the word limit in any assignment. My professor introduced us to poetry by claiming that song lyrics are the modern day equivalent of Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, Shakespeare's Sonnets, or Donne's The Flea. Since that class I've looked at song lyrics as another literary outlet... a much less wordy and more poetic one.

Which takes me to today...

While I was driving to the hospital this afternoon the new Eminem and Rihanna song came on the radio. It's called Love the Way You Lie (You can hear it here). You know what I 'love'? The way this song is so completely messed up. I 'love' it so much that I just have to write about it.

The song has some very prime lyrics. It glorifies domestic abuse. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks of Chris Brown when they hear Rihanna's "I like the way it hurts[,]... hear me cry... because I love the way you lie." Eminem continues this charade by discussing an on-again-of-again relationship that involves him physically attacking ("push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bite, throw, and pin") his partner who continues to say she loves what he's doing to her. Ohh, not to mention his claim that "if she ever tries to fucking leave again, I'mma tie her to the bed, and set the house on fire."

Where does this leave us as the audience? With a first glance at the lyrics it seems like the grand message here is the condoning of physical abuse.

The song shows the psychological turmoil that exists within relationships that involve abuse... the fact that the partners' want to be together but hate each other, he doesn't want to hurt her but he does, and she's upset and hurt but she loves him. Even if the song is illustrating psychological turmoil, it still promotes a very negative relationship dynamic.

Furthermore, our current society tends to blame the victims of abuse. A woman undergoing a court case to charge her rapist will have her own clothing brought under question - as if how she dressed signified she was game to be sexually assaulted. And, alike to this song, women experiencing physical abuse in relationships are often blamed for staying in that relationship. Rihanna's lyrics reinforce this idea - it becomes easy to blame her for her abuse because she keeps on going back. So, instead of a song discussing domestic abuse in a new and more thoughtful light, we have Eminem and Rihanna reinstating stereotypes that prevent those experiencing abuse to acquire needed assistance and recognition in society.

On the plus side, it is refreshing that Eminem admits he is also experiencing physical abuse even if it is only having his hair pulled. Men very rarely comment on their experiences as victims of domestic abuse. At least the song begins to address this version of domestic abuse in today's society. However, Eminem's 'victimization' is a very very small segment in a song that concentrates on a female saying she enjoys being repeatedly abused by her lover.

I find it saddening that a song like this has become so popular in a society that has large rates of domestic abuse. Eminem and Rihanna's Love the Way You Lie merely promotes violence and unhealthy relationships... and yet somehow this song has made it to the Canadian Top 20... number 17 to be exact. Honestly, out of all the songs playing in Canada this somehow reached number 17?


***** As a side note... earlier this year one of my professors sent my Family Sociology class this video of Keira Knightley and domestic abuse. Thought I'd pass it along.