He's a Stud, She's a Slut

I searched everywhere for this book... it's not available in any B.C. bookstores. I searched Washington, USA... couldn't find it anywhere. Finally, after over a year of looking, I found it on a little shelf in the Vancouver Public Library.

I must say that I was well beyond eager to read Jessica Valenti's He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know. The title either instantly intrigues you or causes you to shudder, because yes, it sounds an awful lot like a title for some loud and brass feminist book... which it is.

I was introduced to Valenti's first monograph Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters in a Sociology of Gender university class during early 2009. I instantly developed an academic crush. I loved that her writing was uncensored to such an extent that it felt like I was reading a letter to a friend. I loved her ideas and views on society. One of the subjects Valenti discusses in this work is North American culture and its promotion of female thinness. I became engrossed in her theories on this subject. Valenti's claim that eating is a powerful and revolutionary act for women in today's society distinctly resonated with me at the time due to my own personal struggles with food. Since reading Valenti I have proudly declared myself a third wave feminist and have become motivated to improve my own unhealthy relationship with food.

Needless to say I began reading He's a Stud, She's a Slut with very high expectations. It was a good read... but I honestly left the book feeling disappointed. This book felt like a quick rehashing of Valenti's previous Full Frontal Feminism.

He's a Stud, She's a Slut is a good introduction to feminist studies for a general audience. Valenti argues that feminism is premised on equality and choice. It is about being aware of one's culture and understanding its patriarchal roots. Feminism recognizes the inequalities that exist within society for individuals of all sexes, ethnicities, social classes, sizes, and sexual orientations. Valenti claims that change and progress are only possible through recognizing inequality and by making a conscious effort to eradicate it at a grassroots level.

Valenti's work is an eye-opener. It is also extremely funny. Among the many double standards she discusses are those involving fashion, health care, salaries, body image, humour, the dichotomy between physical attractiveness and intelligence, procreation, and the role of each partner's age in a romantic relationship.

She discusses the Miss, Ms, Mrs debate. As you can tell from my blog, I pledge allegiance to the Ms category. I'm not against being called Miss (in fact, I use it often under the right circumstances), and I will probably chose Mrs when that time comes... but right now Ms sums me up perfectly. Though it is just a label, Ms reflects the notion that my self-identity is not attached to any relationship, be it family or romantic. Men never have to deal with this conundrum - Mr covers all of their life stages. Heck, men can avoid wearing wedding rings without society frowning upon them.

Valenti also brings up the potential for social networking sites, such as Facebook, to diminish the inequalities in relationship statuses. Facebook asks all of its users to list their relationship status and even sexual orientation. I can see her point... even in something as trivial as Facebook there has been progress and movement towards recognition and equality. Talk about a grassroots movement expanding tenfold.

Valenti provides evidence to suggest that we are far from an equitable society. Her work remains enjoyable and highly amusing though it does contain facts that may be hard to swallow. However, I'd be sure to read Valenti's first work, Full Frontal Feminism, before setting out for this one.